Another person who you may have heard off whom I managed to upset was the late Queen - a few times actually. God rest her soul.
Another person who you may have heard off whom I managed to upset was the late Queen - a few times actually. God rest her soul.
The first being whilst working at the palace, and was suspected of taking a dump on her personal toilet. Which I obviously denied.
The second, was for standing rigid at the end of a long line of subjects, each one bowing as she passed. Until she’d reached myself to find the commoner that I was still standing tall. The Queen stopping and staring as I refused to bow in front of her. Myself feeling the most pressure I have ever felt in my life, as I stared back and her entourage and whole family, including the now King Charlie looked on. Myself being the wimpy chump that I am and caving in the end. Not bowing, but dropping my head with a nod to show the Queen the respect she deserved in her own palace.
The third was again at the palace when her majesty caught me hob knobbing in my rented tux and shiny shoes with all the gentry after myself and a friend crashed the governors ball. Now I can tell you, that was a funny night. Especially since my Jamaican colleague Earl was pretending to be the ambassador of Chad. Strangely a week later I was told by the BBC the palace was no longer a place I was allowed to work.
You may wonder if during my time at the palace the Queen and I ever spoke and the answer is a one hundred percent no. She did though stare at me quite often as she’d enter the room and I was there. To the point that I’d truly wonder why. I’ve summarized below the reasons I genuinely feel that they could have possibly been either,
1. She fancied me.
2. She thought I’d be a good fit for Lady Di.
3. She wondered what the fuck I was doing still working there.
I’m guessing it was either reasons one or two.
There was another incident later with the Queen. A fourth in fact at the Chelsea flower show almost a year after. But I won't get into that one now.
There’s that and many, many more from my days working on films. This was years ago obviously, back when I was a mischievous pup. And that I’m embarrassed to say, it is all just the tip of the iceberg. One day when I’m tired of writing fiction or people are tired of reading mine. Maybe I’ll put all those little nuggets of gold on paper in detail for real - we’ll see.
In the meantime, I invite you to dive into my fictional novels, where inside you’ll encounter a blend of real-life elements and the unforgettable characters I’ve met along the way.
Grab a book and immerse yourself in the darkly comedic worlds I've created—you won't regret it!
